What ifs…life beyond college
“Aim to be the truest version of you. Embrace that you-ness. Endorse it. Love it. Work hard at it.”
Transitions are scary. They can shut you down, have you running away from your goals rather than going toward them. As I start the year, I reflect on the unfinished, exhilarating, and sometimes scary, process of “becoming”. Being the “truest version of you” requires going through change. We are always in process—we are an act of creation, and this makes us uniquely human and interesting.
Writing up my intentions provides an opportunity to reflect on past goals, changes in focus and wants, and the obstacles surmounted along the way. We are relational thinkers and Intentions, rather than “resolutions,” allow for more flexibility and for interconnections to emerge. As one goal shifts and evolves, another goal necessarily shifts as well.
When I decided to transfer to the University of Washington to complete my undergraduate degree,, I created lists and goals at every stage, from the smaller goals (writing a term paper) to the larger goals (applying to graduate school). Reflection along with goal setting was a way of clarifying my values and understanding the greater philosophical question, “How do I want to live my life?”. Obtaining a doctorate degree was a step by step rocky journey with “eyes on the prize” focus. The process helped me to understand what was possible, challenged my limits, and pushed me to grow stronger and develop lifelong learning tools. Reflective writing was one of those tools, knowing myself was my shield, yet also gave me the confidence to put that shield down and show myself to others.
“…just to say your own truth out loud is enough to find others like you.”
As a first generation Latina, I entered graduate school still carrying that all too common imposter along with me. It had been my companion throughout my undergraduate years. As the first person to attend college in my family. I backed away from some of the opportunities presented to me because of both the fear of failure and fear of success. I carried that imposter on my back for many years, but now it is lighter, having shrunk down to a small pebble. I’ve learned how to observe this little imposter then kick it down the road, visible but distant.
My book recommendation for this month.
The Midnight Library by Matt Haig with themes that touch on the murkiness of regret and what lies underneath the pain of “what ifs”. Crafting your annual intentions is part of the process of knowing yourself and reflecting on your agency to slow down and craft your life, which means focusing on that barrier in your way (which, on closer inspection, be but a small interference easily disarmed). Once your horizon is clear, organize a plan and move toward your goals and, in the process, reduce those future “What if” ruminations.
If you’re considering graduate school, check out my webinar:
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For further reflection, check out:
“The Journey to Graduate School Starts by Getting to Know Yourself”
Hidden Brain Podcast, episode “Who Do You Want to Be?”